For Disabled Parents, Mother’s and Father’s Day Often Come After a Fight

Friend,

The disability community continues to face discrimination in becoming and remaining parents. It shouldn’t take a legal battle just to celebrate these days.

Mother’s Day has passed. Father’s Day is around the corner. These holidays are meant to honor the love, sacrifice, and joy of parenthood. But for many in the disability community, these days don’t come with ease or celebration. They come with barriers, stigma, and the emotional toll of navigating a system that too often says: “You don’t belong here.”

Kimberly and her son smile together. Kimberly is a white woman with glasses. Carter is a teen boy wearing a yellow hat.

When my husband and I decided to start a family, I already knew it would be an uphill battle. I survived stage 4 cancer as a child, but the treatments left me infertile. On top of that, I faced years of shame from religious norms, societal expectations, and even those who saw me as less-than because I couldn’t carry a child. My husband was also told not to marry me because I could not carry a pregnancy.

Still, I didn’t give up. We tried egg donation and surrogacy with the help of a generous friend—both attempts failed. So we turned to adoption.

But the doors kept closing. International adoption was out—countries like China and Russia denied us simply because I’m disabled. Domestic adoption through the child welfare system wasn’t much better. We were wrongly told I couldn’t adopt because of my disability.

What they didn’t count on was that I’m also a disability rights advocate. I fought back using Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act—and we ultimately adopted our beautiful son.

That experience opened my eyes to a disturbing reality: at the time, South Carolina had a law allowing a child to be removed from a parent solely because of their disability. Through my work at Able SC, I kept hearing stories—disabled birth parents losing their children at the hospital, families ripped apart not for neglect, but because someone assumed they couldn’t parent. Sometimes the baby was taken before they even made it home.

We fought back—and we changed that law.

In May 2017, South Carolina passed the Persons with Disabilities Right to Parent Act, making it illegal to discriminate against disabled people in birth, adoption, custody, and child welfare decisions. The law requires agencies to provide accommodations, recognize adaptive parenting, and use every effort to keep families together. South Carolina became the 17th state to pass such protections—others have followed our lead. Look at South Carolina showing leadership around this issue!

But the fight isn’t over.

Across the country, disabled birth parents and prospective parents still face steep barriers. Agencies make decisions based on assumptions, not evidence. Children are removed simply because a parent uses a wheelchair or has a developmental disability. Families are judged for how they parent differently, instead of being supported.

That’s why we’re fighting at the federal level. The updated Section 504 regulations from HHS require child welfare systems to stop discriminating, to provide accommodations, and to recognize disabled people as capable parents.

And yet 17 state attorneys general are suing to block these regulations. South Carolina’s attorney general as well. Their message is clear: they don’t believe disabled people should have equal rights to raise families. That’s what we’re still up against.

So as we move from Mother’s Day to Father’s Day, let’s remember: for many in the disability community, these aren’t easy holidays. They are reminders of what it took, or what it still takes, to become and remain a parent in a system stacked against us.

A Challenge to You-

This season, expand your view of what it means to be a parent.

Celebrate those who fought through infertility. Those who adopted or fostered. Those who lost a child to bias and are still fighting to reunite and make their family whole again.

Celebrate disabled parents whose love, creativity, and resilience often go unseen.

And if you know someone who’s navigating infertility, discrimination, or loss this time of year, check in on them. Remind them they are worthy and that their journey matters.

Because love, not ability, not biology, not bias, is what makes a family.

Meet two of my favorite disabled parents, Stephanie and Ryan. They’re incredible foster parents, and Stephanie recently gave birth to triplets! Their love and dedication as parents are unmatched. Haters—stop judging what you don’t understand. Their parenting is exceptional.

I'll leave you with a few resources from Able SC about your rights as a disabled parent, representing disabled parents for attorneys, and the rights of parents that DSS and Child Welfare Professionals need to know:

Parenting with a Disability Resources:

- Kimberly Tissot, President and CEO, Able South Carolina

Kimberly is a white woman with shoulder length blonde hair with bangs. She is wearing brown rounded rim glasses, gold teardrop earrings, and gold necklace with a red shirt, black blazer, black pants, and gray ballet flat. She has one leg and uses crutches to assist her as she stands on a sidewalk in front of greenery, smiling for the camera.

Messages from our CEO:
Kickin' It with Kimberly

It’s important to us that we keep you well informed of current issues and barriers impacting people with disabilities. Our CEO, Kimberly Tissot, knows that you are central to our efforts to promote disability rights, justice, and freedoms. Letters will be written to you, your key supporters, about the injustices we find and the keys to the solutions we can offer as a disability-led organization.